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Saturday 19 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (2404)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (13586)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (5407)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (5168)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28892) - you deserved it (2195)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16778) - you deserved it (35721)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40807) - you deserved it (4706)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (1263)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (2005)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31185) - you deserved it (3485)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML



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