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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36978) - you deserved it (6137)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32043) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25595) - you deserved it (1277)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30437) - you deserved it (6019)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (1911)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (7025)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (2263)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26958) - you deserved it (5682)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (35375)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47719) - you deserved it (4453)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (3874)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)



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Monday 20 May 2013

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