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Thursday 10 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (4551)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35222) - you deserved it (6898)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (39161)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (3217)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (7961)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25644) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML

#20450521
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (5703)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35412) - you deserved it (3678)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33124) - you deserved it (8282)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (5297)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9491) - you deserved it (57754)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)



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