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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7402) - you deserved it (22562)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (3709)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

#20450098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7532) - you deserved it (43704)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (5686)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (4453)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (1942)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (4572)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38007) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (7072)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (4411)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)



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