Saturday 5 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (6545)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34389) - you deserved it (3681)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (1981)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (1258)
On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29303) - you deserved it (4756)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15076) - you deserved it (6397)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (3351)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40339) - you deserved it (1760)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25032) - you deserved it (10305)
On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15522) - you deserved it (9717)
Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (3284)
On 01/05/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by musicalducky (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (7095)
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17318) - you deserved it (1123)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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