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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18709) - you deserved it (6666)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

#20442898
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (4502)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10887) - you deserved it (32785)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

#20436439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (8729)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (9373)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25443) - you deserved it (6572)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (3441)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19234) - you deserved it (1725)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (5901)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

#20441192
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23602) - you deserved it (1813)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (10115)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)



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