Sunday 30 December 2012 
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Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (1732)
On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (9861)
On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (1909)
On 01/01/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (2880)
On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)
Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (3594)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:49am - misc - by Ren - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (2632)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7858) - you deserved it (23984)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States
Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7570) - you deserved it (14137)
On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you deserved it (6354)
On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (5378)
On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (994)
On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (26198)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (2315)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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