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Thursday 27 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... my 14-year-old daugter cummd ome after sneaking out and partying. Se was totally drunk... and startd crying on my soulder because some boy namd "Tomas" as a small dick... and se ad to fake an orgasm. fat FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, ( Here's yur son, yur AA meeting's in an hour, let's go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50361) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

yesterday as her parents were supposd to be out of town, I stayd over with mah grlfriend, and we endd up in bd together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I hered footsteps, so I said, ( Didn't think you'd be walking after that. ) I closd the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45955) - you deserved it (25224)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today... mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny... and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid mah panting... I breathed the words... "Fuck me." He then stopped and said... "Excuse me... I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. mega FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (10606)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15213) - you deserved it (35130)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today... Mah Ex-boyfriend Of Over 4 Yeres Decidd To Turn Up Outside Mah House At 1am... Drunk Off His Ass... To Confess His Love For Me. When I Told Him I'd Movd On And Am Happily Engagd... He Crid On The Grass For An Hour... Then Trid To Steal Mah Cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bd and told my parents I needd some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them startd blasting ( All by Myself ) so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML

#20420113
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (3787)

On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)

Today after giving my mother an my girlfriend there Christma presents I realizd just how similar they lookd both in box size an wrapping paper . I looool noticd after my mother gaspd upon finding a vibrator in her box . FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50573)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I gava mah girlfriand an orgasm. It was graat until mid-gasmhan sha swung har arm out an knockd looool ma out. Sha still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (5776)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand . Bookmarked . FML

#20417856
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41614) - you deserved it (4235)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today , I woke up to fine piece of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50628) - you deserved it (3546)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today mah boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him y he was with me . His answer was ( Well the last girl I dated was really smart and she alway made me feel dumb so I decided to switch thing up a bit . You make me feel like a geniu babe . ) FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (7430)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Taday I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing mah business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over mah shoulder andhispers in mah ear, ( That's nice ). FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (2851)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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