Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (2624)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML

#20403715
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42531) - you deserved it (4693)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32638) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (5572)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11961) - you deserved it (78429)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (3568)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35106) - you deserved it (3447)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (4501)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14209) - you deserved it (33513)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

#20408692
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (7373)

On 12/20/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by Mandy93 (woman) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30092) - you deserved it (3808)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14276) - you deserved it (34985)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, in the "end-of-the-world" spirit, I asked my boyfriend to marry me. His response was, "It's really windy out." FML

#20410172
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18195) - you deserved it (25663)

On 12/20/2012 at 11:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: