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Thursday 13 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19111)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frigtend, I tappd on te glass. He got scard and startd swimming again. My best friend is a fis.

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (6308)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Taday "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on mah iPod... I checked and found I had bought thehole $17.00 album in mah sleep. This is the second time this month; the frst time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (5802)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (5262)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball!! I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight!! I'm still trying to figure out what happened!! FML

#20403784
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (3563)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. mega FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store . He saw me and started walking towards me . I got so excited that I fartedhen he came near . FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (9186)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at tha gas station, tha automatic door didn't opan whan I approachad it!! I askad tha cashiar to opan it for ma, joking that cuz I'm a radhaad, I didn't hava a soul and it wouldn't opan for ma!! Tha cashiar fraakad and wouldn't lat ma go until I provad I had a soul!! FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (5181)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , someone paintd the "Dark Mark" on the side of mah car. It won't come off and mah kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard did in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (3792)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)



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