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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24009) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (9767)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31258) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (1910)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30811) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11424) - you deserved it (38548)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (2025)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26296) - you deserved it (4351)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (1722)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (7252)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

#20201870
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (4134)

On 12/12/2012 at 12:51pm - love - by dino0123 - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

#20398760
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (2289)

On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (4549)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)



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