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Wednesday 5 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

#20196447
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4815) - you deserved it (52482)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

#20192045
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12882) - you deserved it (44952)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (1645)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (2410)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (1455)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (3982)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (1374)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18993) - you deserved it (3009)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9459) - you deserved it (32916)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (2088)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

#20197946
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (6423)

On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)



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