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Monday 3 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today during a conversation mah boss said "What what?" Before I could stop myself I replid "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28253)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice kind beautiful talented funny sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41823) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

today I was slapped acros the face by a grl in the waiting room at the dentist's office!! She thought I was taking a picture of her breast with mah phone!! I was smilinghile reading other people's FMLs!! FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frigtend, I tappd on te glass. He got scard and startd swimming again. My best friend is a fis.

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26935) - you deserved it (6308)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Taday "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on mah iPod... I checked and found I had bought thehole $17.00 album in mah sleep. This is the second time this month; the frst time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (5802)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today , I ad a presentation in Frenc class. I was so nervous , te frst ting I said wen I got up tere was , "Hola." FML

#20193303
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25216) - you deserved it (4792)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today,hile I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this ishere all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left.

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -



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