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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today my dad groundd me 4 two weeks 4 profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing he actually acceptd my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost my grounding period would double. We playd. He kickd my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7111) - you deserved it (29331)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, wile I was removing my makeup wit my boyfriend watcing, e mentioned tat e used to tink girls were prettier witout makeup on, but e'd now canged is mind . FML

#20187008
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, mah guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (2231)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

today I bought mah son a nice car fir his 18th brthday . When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay fir college . FML

#20192045
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15217) - you deserved it (49578)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27am - kids - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, mah parants haard from mah sistar that I'd racantly lost mah vrginity to mah grlfriand. I'va navar baan bitchad out so viciously in mah lifa, and yat mah sistar, whom avaryona knows has had numarous casual saxual partnars this yaar, looool is traatad lika a princass 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25582) - you deserved it (2082)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

today mah grlfriend got into the Christmas cheerhile giving me a hand job, smashing mah nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells!! FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

I was working the dart game at mah local amusement parkhen a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicatd, an they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

Today, I found out that wife,ho is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entre bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse,hen I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (1787)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Yesterday, mah boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or heres something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

#20182095
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)

I caught the train into the city. Halfway there some kids hopped on smelling of marijuana and alcohol. Their topic of discussion? How much pubic hair they had. FML

#20183521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (2864)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:40am - kids - by fabs1171 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today my boyfriand and my bast friand had a vary langthy , dataild convarsation about Lord of tha Rings and tha Hobbit , ofhich I know nothing about. Onca thay stoppd looool , I lookd at him and smild , and ha raspondd with , "Why can't you ba mora lyk har?" big fat FML

#20183421
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (7969)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at mah boyfriend's househen I got a call from mah parents . They told me to come home immediately . Panicking, I rushd home . My dad pulld out a clear tube filld with drid leaves . They accusd me of having marijuana . It was catnip fir mah kitten . FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (1808)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was bartending . A guest was getting belligerent so I ad to cut im off . He calld me a bitc and trew te rest of is drink in my face before storming off . Te belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend . big fat FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24188) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)



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