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Today, I ad to stand next to my wife at te supermarket, beet-red an pretending not to exist; about alf an our into our sopping, se completely lost er sit at te advertising on te loudspeaker, turned to anoter patron, an screamed into is face to sut te fuck up. FML
Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer . Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinnd to the wall by its force . In my state looool of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trappd was my grip on the accelerator . FML
yesterday I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made looool a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager.
Today, after finishing a test, I decidd to draw to pass the time . My teacher lookd at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman . real FML
Today, I have a tooth infection that's spread to my jaw and ear . It hurts so badly that I'm practically in teres . Today's also the day I found out I'm allergic to the medication I was prescribed . Everything hurts, I'm covered in hives, and I can't stop throwing up . FML
Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma cummed to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over mah display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old ladyhen she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML
2DAY I WENT TO SEE MAH FAVORITE BAND. IT WAS ALL AMAZING AN GREAT UNTIL I DECIDED TO GO CROWD SURFING. I WAS MAYBE TOO HEAVY CUZ PEOPLE JUMPED AWAY INSTEAD OF CATCHING ME. I FELL RIGHT ON MAH TAILBONE. FML
Today, I Bought A New Armband To Hold Mah IPhonehile Working Out So I Can Listen To Music An I Was Excitd To Start Getting In Shape. Unfortunately,hen I Trid It On, Mah Arm Was Too Big An It Didn't Fit. FML
Today, I lerened that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping . It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise . My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday . big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015