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Monday 12 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , after I spent two hours trying to teach my grlfriend to play sudoku , she broke up with me , tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake , imaginary game to make her feel stupid!! FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today... mah crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told mah parents to act normal 4 one night. Apparently... "normal" is strutting around naked and acting lyk a chicken. FML

#20166401
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (5554)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Taday I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read ( Well son this diary proves that your ahiny asshole - Dad. ) Thanks Dad from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3983)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, ma dad asked me to send ma mom a text since e was driving and I was in te passenger seat . I pulled up ma mom's contact on is pone, and I found tat ma mom ad recently sent ma dad a picture of er jugs, along wit te message, "We miss you."

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today Ma Girlfriend Looked Me Straigt In Te Eye An Said, "I Know About Te Sea Turtles." I Asked Er Wat Se Was Talking About An Se Said, "Next Time, Sut Up Or I'll Sow You Pain." I Ave No Idea Wat Se's Talking About. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

today I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement . Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars . FML

#20162883
277 comments

I arrived home after a hard day's work to see mah 12-year-old sister had greased up mah 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20411) - you deserved it (2024)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I found a woundd turkey in our backyard . I brought it inside, puttd it in a cage, and tendd to its wounds . I then left . When I got back home, I smelld the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking . She had prepard a turkey, the one I'd rescud . FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (5085)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, an a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (31365)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

I realizd I'd put on my shrt on inside out... so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off... I accidentally droppd it in the toilet. mega looool FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (5314)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I putted on a shrt that said ( skilled in every position. ) My boyfriend took one look an said, ( since when? ) mega FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9787) - you deserved it (27244)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received mah first ever hand-job!! It would have been great if she didn't wipe it acros mah facehen I had finished and storm out of the room!! mega FML

yesterday I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (1502)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)



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