Sunday 4 November 2012 
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Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14922) - you deserved it (812)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13372) - you deserved it (2605)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (28857)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15279) - you deserved it (930)
On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35776) - you deserved it (1345)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (2528)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14710) - you deserved it (1033)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (1146)
On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21978) - you deserved it (2043)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (2749)
Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12844) - you deserved it (2892)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (4069)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15003) - you deserved it (1417)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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