Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (2619)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22377) - you deserved it (2523)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17972) - you deserved it (7447)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20266) - you deserved it (2665)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (6755)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8989) - you deserved it (12949)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (4921)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4369)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (4265)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11985) - you deserved it (20162)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (21830)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6404) - you deserved it (38578)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14386) - you deserved it (1309)
On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
