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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Monday 15 March 2010

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (6136)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42946) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (2885)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (9593)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (2026)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (24195) - you deserved it (3171)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (5173)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665 (365)

I agree, your life sucks (55927) - you deserved it (4159)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by david (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990 (277)

I agree, your life sucks (29774) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

#9101035 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (2348)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (4611)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)