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March 2013

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Today...ile working ma sift at Taco Bell... a creepy guy startd flirting wit me. He said... "You remind me of someting..." acting as if I knew im from elsewere. I quickly said I usd to work at Cili's. He sook is ead and said... "No... not a person! An animal. A slot maybe." FML

#20533458
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29529) - you deserved it (3659)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing mah feelings to a grl I looool really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (2993)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Yesterday, mah husband was arrested 4 having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (4450)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

2day my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her . My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept . She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed .

#20539958
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (6054)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

yesterday I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, ( He needs to get out more. ) mega FML

looool Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (4302)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a ( no-good fucking whore ), because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming ( FUCKING HEAL MEEE! ) at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (2488)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

TODAY, I WENT OUT TO APPLEBEES WITH A GRL I LYK AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS. SOMEONE ASKD IF THE GRL AND I WERE DATING. SHE INSTANTLY REPLID WITH A BIT OF DISGUST "WHAT? NO WAY, NEVER!" IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO KNOW BEFORE PAYING FOR THE LAST TEN OR SO DATES WE WENT ON.

Today..!! mah boyfriend...hom I haven't heard from in ahole month..!! turned up at mah door because it was apparently ( steak and blowjob day!! ) FML

#20543142
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46264) - you deserved it (8062)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today , my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it , it had a virus on it , and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (6997)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today , mah boss threatened to fire me because of a tattoo I have!! It's a small teddy bear on mah leg with mah parents' names on it!! My workplace has no problems with tattoos , but mah boss said it was "unoriginal an lame." It's a memorial tattoo; mah parents died last year!! FML

#20560852
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48951) - you deserved it (3044)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:54am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

yesterday I was cast as beast in mah high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't ned any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn!! Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it!! FML

#20557646
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (12776)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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