Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (14676)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38117) - you deserved it (14864)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (8471)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (2004)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15878) - you deserved it (31190)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (1912)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (4680)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (25795)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (6385)
On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8081) - you deserved it (48842)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (12634)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41024) - you deserved it (5534)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 17 June 2013
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