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March 2013

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Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

#20539958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (5888)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (4149)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16918) - you deserved it (54688)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (2338)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40272) - you deserved it (5358)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36896) - you deserved it (5265)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

#20540616
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53147) - you deserved it (6900)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (4822)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my guinea pig was resting on my shoulder. However, I forgot to tie my hair up and she gnawed off a clump of it that was a good 6 inches long. I had to fight her to get it out of her mouth. FML

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (8396)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

#20561087
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47795) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm - love - by Megan - United States



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