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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34126) - you deserved it (13966)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16386) - you deserved it (38648)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47109) - you deserved it (3988)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (9530)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (9634)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23316) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35828) - you deserved it (3394)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40143) - you deserved it (4884)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23705) - you deserved it (19433)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (3671)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML



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