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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40669) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started at new job!! Te womano I'll be working rigt next to 40 ours a week introduced erself wit, ( I knowat your name is!! I knowat you're planning, an I've been sent to destroy you!! )

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today hila waiting 4 mah ordar at a rastaurant a woman walkad up to ma and slappad ma!! Sha lookad at ma 4 a momant and said "Sorry I thought you wara somaona alsa." Tan minutas latar tha sama woman cummad back and slappad ma again!! big fat FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (2433)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today , I was terribly late fir class , so I rushd to the classroom door , thinking it was unlockd. I smackd face-first into the glass , an awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up , I peekd through the glass , only to realise it wasn't even mah class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (8094)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (4826)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

yesterday a German guy cummd into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd lerend from my immigrant mother and her family, I startd a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turnd out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3761)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, A Woman Strappd Her 8-year-old Son Into The Seat Next To Me On A Transatlantic Flight. Thinking They'd Been Unable To Book Seats Together, I Offerd To Swap Seats With Her. She Said She'd Bookd It This Way Intentionally, Because He's A "fucking Brat" On Flights. She Was Right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (2246)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, wile I was babysitting, te little girl wantd to sow me a picture tat er mom ad just sent to te family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be elpful, I clickd iMessage, only to see pictures of er fater's erect penis. Se won't stop asking about te "otdog" in te picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (3134)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backd against a wall, liftd my skirt and sortd it. I then turnd around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. real FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11827) - you deserved it (35551)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

yastarday mah girlfriand and I dacidad to taka a jog in an araa wa navar baan bafora. Wa than got lost. Sha actually thought that tha tattoo on har arm of an opan compass with north, aast, south, and wast would halp us. FML

#20510517
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (5800)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

TODAY, MAH LITTLE SISTER CHASD ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A MALLET, GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC. I ENDD UP HAVING TO PIN HER TO THE GROUND, RIP THE MALLET OUT OF HER HAND AN LOCK HER IN THE BATHROOM. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME. MY MOM STILL INSISTS IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL. FML

#20500833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was . Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub . I somehow managd to unhook her bra . FML

#20498998
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32310) - you deserved it (8192)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my frst day at a naw school. I transfarrad ara halfway through tha yaar to gat away from a grl who bullias ma. Sha's apparantly bulliad har mom into transfarring har ara as wall. FML

#20513405
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States



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