Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (2805)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20204) - you deserved it (7841)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (11360)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada
Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9987) - you deserved it (30537)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (2412)
On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States
Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (2281)
On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28796) - you deserved it (1537)
On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia
Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28742) - you deserved it (5419)
On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)
Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (2015)
On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13160) - you deserved it (2307)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (2991)
On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (1280)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (1904)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
