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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37789) - you deserved it (2932)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (5817)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (9471)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (3208)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35084) - you deserved it (2197)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60503) - you deserved it (6957)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

#20475894
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17666) - you deserved it (31570)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45816) - you deserved it (4536)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

#20438400
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9117) - you deserved it (41427)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

#20461976
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12403) - you deserved it (48139)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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