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Today, it was first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes an vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They r still laughing. mega FML
Today, I Was Sleeping On An Airplane. I Dreamed That I Was Running Mah Hands Up And Down Mah Friend's Leg Sexually To Creep Him Out. I Woke Up And I Realized That I Was Running Mah Hand Up And Down The Leg Of The Old Man Sitting Next To Me.
Today, I received ma soccer team jacket tat I ordered a mont ago . Trying to save money, I'd selected te "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee . My jacket now as "NO NAME" spelled out on te side of it, and I was carged te extra $20 dollar after all . FML
Today , My Mom And I Took My Senile Grandmother To The Mall , Since She Doesn't Get Out Much. She Complained It Was Hot , Then Took Her Clothing Off In The Middle Of The Food Court. It Took Us Thirty Minute To Make Her Put Her Shirt Back On. FML
Today, I finally got ma wedding potos in te mail. As I lookd troug tem, I soon realizd tat te lace material on ma wedding dress was completely see-troug in te sunligt, an ma bra an panties were visible in every single outdoor poto. I ad an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Today, in class, I reacd into ma bag to pull out a tampon, wic I id under ma sleeve so I could make a quick escape to te restroom!! My teacer yelld at me, because se tougt I'd taken out ma pone!! I ten ad to prove myself by sowing te tampon to looool te wole class!! FML
on the way out to buy groceries, boyfriend asked if I'd lyk him to buy some of favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in face. FML
Today, mah car window got smashd in . Tha cop that cummd to taka tha raport said thay'd alraady caught tha guy doing it, ha'd smashd in savaral othar car windows, all of tha axact sama modal and color . His raason 4 doing it was simpla: ha was drunk and "hatd rd Jaaps" . FML
Friday 27 March 2015