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By Anonymous - / Sunday 16 January 2011 07:49 / United States
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So what happened over a year ago? Did you bump into a girl's ass in a check-out counter line or something? I'm hassling you, buddy, but I'm on a bit of an ass-touching drought myself, butt I'm hoping to fix that sooñ.

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I will resume that cheating argument now. How could you do this to me, Doortje?! You have broken my heart. :( KaySL never did this to me! Probably because everyone was too scared to stalk his scary ass, but that's beside the point! You must be punished...violently. I was thinking an ass-raping with a strap on that has rusty nails on it will do it.

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I went to the cops, and they told me the best thing to do when you have a stalker is to just ignore them. So I thought I should let you know that will be my strategy from now on.

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Ehh...I'm done stalking people. It's too much work. I'm just going to go back to sitting on my ass while eating ice cream straight from the bucket.

So? Oh no...you haven't touched a girls ass in over a year. I just don't understand what the big deal is. Clearly a guy thing?

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girls don't ever understand that guys have certain needs...ya we don't just say that or fun. we really do have "certain needs"

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craving intimacy is a completely normal thing. and it's most definitely not only a guy thing. since you don't seem to get it, either you've never been intimate or you have someone to be intimate with now. because it certainly becomes something you miss after a while.

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Being intimate is quite different from being excited because a girl brushed her ass against your shoulder. Intimacy is very personal. Nowhere does the OP even states that he/she misses the idea of being intimate with someone.

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"Certain needs"? People need water. We need oxygen. We need sleep. There is not a single guy on the planet who "needs" to touch a girl's ass.

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uhh 62 OP clearly is missing intimacy. saying that he hasn't touched an ass in a year pretty much refers to not being in a relationship for a year and he misses that.

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and 62, where exactly does it say "a girl's ass touched my shoulder AND I GOT SUPER DUPER EXCITED! YAY 4 BUTTZZZ!"? to me, this FML is about missing the touch of a woman. that is a form of intimacy. being sexual with someone, even if it's considered "just fucking" is still intimacy of a sort. he obviously misses sex and that's a perfectly okay thing to be all fml about. the touch of another person can be really powerful, whether one gets around or saves it for special pe

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