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December 2012

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Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML

Today, my daugter finally gave brt to twin boys. Se informed me tat se named tem Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (5385)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frigtend, I tappd on te glass. He got scard and startd swimming again. My best friend is a fis.

#20199342
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (6308)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Taday "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on mah iPod... I checked and found I had bought thehole $17.00 album in mah sleep. This is the second time this month; the frst time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (5802)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today , I ad a presentation in Frenc class. I was so nervous , te frst ting I said wen I got up tere was , "Hola." FML

#20193303
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25216) - you deserved it (4792)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22799) - you deserved it (5262)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today... mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny... and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid mah panting... I breathed the words... "Fuck me." He then stopped and said... "Excuse me... I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. mega FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50727) - you deserved it (10606)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16984) - you deserved it (47574)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today,hile I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this ishere all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left.

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48898) - you deserved it (6186)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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