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Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin . I guess I got slightly carried away, cuz I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of face, up nose and into eye . FML
Taday "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on mah iPod... I checked and found I had bought thehole $17.00 album in mah sleep. This is the second time this month; the frst time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
Today, Some Beefd-up Guy Wearing A Wife-beater Sat In Restaurant, Took Out A Big Sack Of Coins, And Playd My Little Pony Songs On The Jukebox Fir 4 Hours Straight. I Couldn't Summon The Courage To Tell Him To Leave.
Today... mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny... and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid mah panting... I breathed the words... "Fuck me." He then stopped and said... "Excuse me... I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. mega FML
Yesterday , I took child to the park. Having been there an hour , another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children , pointing to child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML
Friday 27 March 2015