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December 2012

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Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

#20432803
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (5370)

On 12/30/2012 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (18057)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40363) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32527) - you deserved it (1890)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43250) - you deserved it (4145)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friend spilt orange juice all over my iPad. She then went ahead to clean it off by rinsing it with water. FML

#20187648
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/02/2012 at 5:16am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37344) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (4012)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (26988)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

#20196447
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6257) - you deserved it (59406)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22028) - you deserved it (5727)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)



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