Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (1994)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (7064)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (4161)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

#20188897
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (2481)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:18am - health - by Gahh... (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10388) - you deserved it (35302)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (16295)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

#20186264
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19327) - you deserved it (2031)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

#20190801
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (2524)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7109) - you deserved it (17220)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (7075)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22392) - you deserved it (1574)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck at a red light on an empty road for ten minutes before I finally realised that not only was I looking at the wrong traffic light, it was also broken. FML

#20196348
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6604) - you deserved it (21484)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by last time I drive stoned (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (24829)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: