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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs an said... ( Honk honk ). Unbeknownst to me... my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11324) - you deserved it (27454)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I found a woundd turkey in our backyard . I brought it inside, puttd it in a cage, and tendd to its wounds . I then left . When I got back home, I smelld the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking . She had prepard a turkey, the one I'd rescud . FML

#20162095
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (5085)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

I Was Blessd With A Girlfriend Who Loves Giving Blowjobs!! And Cursd With A Girlfriend Who Is Also Somehow Really Bad At Them!! FML

#20174308
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (8136)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, an a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (31365)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

I realizd I'd put on my shrt on inside out... so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off... I accidentally droppd it in the toilet. mega looool FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27699) - you deserved it (5314)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today.. . while at school.. . a bra fell out of my coat . After the initial shock.. . people startd congratulating me on finally getting a grlfriend . I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's . FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression an then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I putted on a shrt that said ( skilled in every position. ) My boyfriend took one look an said, ( since when? ) mega FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9787) - you deserved it (27244)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday in break from tradition... I proposd to mah boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on mah knee... after pouring mah heart out... he lookd wistfully out over the water an said... "So... I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (5899)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing wit ma four year old cousin. He ad a toyale and said, "Sark!" I correctd im and told im it was aale. He pickd it up, trew it at ma face, and yelld, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (6889)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I was enjoying a nice bath , when one of mah cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet , until mah other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientiou cat owner , I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received mah first ever hand-job!! It would have been great if she didn't wipe it acros mah facehen I had finished and storm out of the room!! mega FML



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