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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20225) - you deserved it (6926)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (2188)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (6946)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (2644)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30178) - you deserved it (3714)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9861) - you deserved it (59969)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (21838)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (2406)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (7168)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (5179)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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