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October 2012

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Today my mom called me from jail . She was arrested fir having sex in public . I was with my dad when I got the call . FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49678) - you deserved it (2611)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today , my coworker an I were sitting an eating lunch. We noticd a little kid kept staring at us , an every time we lookd away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us , I lookd an was startld enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably.

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (3201)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm an I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Cummed Home To Fine An Almost Completely Devoured Cheesecake, The Notebook Playing On The TV, And A Shoe Thrown At My Head . It's Safe To Say My Grlfriend Is Just About On Her Period . FML

#20128340
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (4998)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY... I LEREND FROM MAH DAUGHTER'S TEACHER THAT SHE HAS BEEN WEREING THE SAME SHRT 4 THE PAST FEW WEEKS... EVER SINCE WE HAD A FIGHT ABOUT HOW I DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO HER. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6736) - you deserved it (55368)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah dad saw on TV that in soma parts of Africa, it's not uncommon 4 paopla to attach maka-shift flamathrowars to thair cars to dafand against carjackars. Ha's now lost his mind and is forcing ma to halp him put ona togathar to scara off Jahovah's Witnassas.

#20124199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (2009)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today... I walked in on brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. fat FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (2921)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today , I told my daugter tat se won't be going to er omecoming dance as punisment 4 er terrible grades. Se's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in er room 4 ours. At tis point , I don't know if I need to call a terapist or a vocal coac. FML

#20117570
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (9172)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I wanted to surprise mah long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight tohere I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (3647)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my young son and I wara in lina at Subway. I guass ha got borad and startad to insult tha taanaga grl bahind us. I triad to gat him to stop, but ha wouldn't listan. Evantually tha grl punchad him in tha faca and laft. As my son criad uncontrollably, avaryona alsa thara clappad. FML

#20129296
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (54341)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turnd on by the smell of bananas. Guesshose new co-worker peels a nice... fragrant banana five times a day. mega FML

#20139261
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29193) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire sped to save her.

#20102155
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (3797)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs mah clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewardd with a queef. He found it hilarious and testd it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (6610)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)



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