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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML

#20124915
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (26708)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (2952)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (7395)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26507) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11274) - you deserved it (36403)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (11306)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11709) - you deserved it (74798)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3051)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

#20109154
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13903) - you deserved it (31271)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (2112)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24733) - you deserved it (4440)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36738) - you deserved it (2565)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)



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