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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24115) - you deserved it (16567)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (3831)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (5273)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23894) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21479) - you deserved it (9352)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (2032)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

#20133994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7970) - you deserved it (31966)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (3175)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22844) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22996) - you deserved it (1924)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)



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