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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (4666)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

#20132044
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8887) - you deserved it (30047)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (6103)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (2907)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (1662)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (4864)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23186) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25661) - you deserved it (3047)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (1501)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (1459)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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