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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14711) - you deserved it (2794)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (1745)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (1684)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14716) - you deserved it (1144)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17356) - you deserved it (1484)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (3149)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (1919)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (1829)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (30611)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16327) - you deserved it (10823)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15854) - you deserved it (4799)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15203) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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