Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10266) - you deserved it (31996)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (16476)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (3803)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17360) - you deserved it (5052)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23234) - you deserved it (3331)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23979) - you deserved it (1917)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21570) - you deserved it (2008)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (1844)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (1746)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

#20131308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20443) - you deserved it (1726)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:35pm - animals - by 12693 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML

#20133994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7142) - you deserved it (29532)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: