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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25506) - you deserved it (7750)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (1938)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13263) - you deserved it (25369)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8931) - you deserved it (26796)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (2892)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (1831)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (14356)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (2244)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by tehaustiebear (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (2170)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2858)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (2263)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23320) - you deserved it (4493)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)



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