Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (1610)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

#20102773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12527) - you deserved it (24446)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (2545)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13090) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

#20130988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (1587)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (1540)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (2373)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to Christianity. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (3154)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: