Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18416) - you deserved it (1228)
On 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by jack - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (2111)
On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (2036)
On 04/24/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16518) - you deserved it (1829)
On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (3901)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (1289)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46pm - misc - by :| (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16519) - you deserved it (1496)
On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17526) - you deserved it (1824)
On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20582) - you deserved it (1858)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17067) - you deserved it (2560)
On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (4697)
On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (21947)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (3887)
On 04/15/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by Gayeveryday (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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