Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9573) - you deserved it (14043)
On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (4521)
On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (3084)
On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18119) - you deserved it (1245)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (1207)
On 04/28/2012 at 2:52am - health - by mark807 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (2301)
On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13481) - you deserved it (4462)
On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20003) - you deserved it (2641)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21168) - you deserved it (1800)
On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (4321)
On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7562) - you deserved it (22267)
On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3742) - you deserved it (18257)
On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States
Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5476) - you deserved it (60015)
On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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