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March 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

#19290632
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16258) - you deserved it (5540)

On 03/16/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by danny5191 (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16762) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

#19265629
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13505) - you deserved it (7352)

On 03/12/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by anonamous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my best friend stopped by my house, borrowed a movie, and left. That was the extent of our communication for the day. Today is my birthday. FML

#19355231
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (1416)

On 03/27/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15275) - you deserved it (1195)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that Walmart had called and I had an interview at 9:30. I went to Walmart. They told me they didn't have any interviews set up. I went back home and listened to the voice-mail on her cellphone. It was the Subway in Walmart. I've been looking for a job for 3 months. FML

#19232064
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17039) - you deserved it (3289)

On 03/07/2012 at 6:14am - work - by Jake (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

#19200408
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (1190)

On 03/02/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by Peach - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

#19222204
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (15638)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (1102)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, we had an extremely rude customer who started cussing at us, and my coworker started cussing back. I jumped on the register to quickly bring down the line, and apologized to everyone for the scene. A secret shopper was in the line and claimed that I was rude. I got written up. FML

#19231492
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (1707)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

#19219205
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3745) - you deserved it (12321)

On 03/05/2012 at 4:42am - health - by Nope (woman) - China

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14610) - you deserved it (2171)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

#19262944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5752) - you deserved it (14771)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States



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