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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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March 2010

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (6914)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30850) - you deserved it (6136)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (4688)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (7205)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (15364) - you deserved it (14942)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

#9122302 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (36234) - you deserved it (2885)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5764) - you deserved it (20864)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (4514) - you deserved it (16080)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333 (298)

I agree, your life sucks (6543) - you deserved it (25423)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (18530) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

#8980708 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (4837)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.