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Today, I Was Driving Around With A Faw Friands Whan Ona Of Tham Suggastad Wa Go In To An Insuranca Company's Offica An Sing Thara Jingla!! I'm An Awful Singar, So I Was Planning On Lip Syncing!! Evaryona Alsa Had Tha Sama Idaa!!
Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen!! As I excitedly putted it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it lyk one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable"!! FML
Today, on way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending wheel and flattening tre . After changing it and having to explain myself to furiou boss, I went back on that road in other car to take a picture of the pothole . While looking 4 it, I hit it again . FML
Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that mah wife has been sereching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML
Today, mah pants rippd while I was at work. I had to keep mah balls to the wall while I dodgd customers and edgd ever closer to the break room. Before I could call mah wife and ask her to bring a new pair, mah boss burst in, got pissd, and made me go back out and deal with rate customers. FML
Today while checking out a couple at work I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day . The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was 4 making the prices so high . I work at McDonald's . FML
I went for a ceckup after aving recently been fitted wit dental implants. Te oral surgeon I cose was supposedly te best in te area, but it turns out tat e inserted te implants at te wrong angle. Now I ave to ave furter surgery to correct it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015