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Friday 25 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to buy a birthday present fir mah boyfriend . While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if mah boyfriend wore brief or boxers, cuz both were on sale . Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (12710)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played an intense paintball matc, wit me and ma friends versus ma boyfriend and is buddies . Wen we won, ma boyfriend went mental and said e only lost because of "lag" . Wen I pointed out we weren't in a video game, e reacted by fring a paintball straigt into ma cest . FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (5445)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

TODAY, A PREGNANT WOMAN GOT ON TE BUS. TERE WERE NO FREE SEATS, SO I STOOD UP TO GIVE ER MINE. AN OBESE MAN PUSD PAST ER, WADDLD OVER, AND OOZD INTO MY SEAT. I SAID IT WAS 4 TE PREGNANT LADY. HE CALLD ME A "SEXIST BITC" AND CLAIMD E NEEDD IT MORE. FML

#20478664
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (2476)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, an he took me back to his house fir the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (4531)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

2DAY MY GIRLFRIEND COMPLIMENTD ME ON MY ASS. BEFORE I COULD SAY THANKS, SHE CONTINUD BY COMMENTING THAT SHE WOULDN'T MIND "BREAKING IT IN". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

YESTERDAY I LED A CLASS OF GRADE-TWO PUPILS ON AN EXCURSION TO THE ZOO. WHEN WE WENT TO SEE THE LIONS I WAS PUTTED IN A POSITION WHERE I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO SEVEN AND EIGHT YEAR OLDS Y ONE LION WAS "BOUNCING" ON TOP OF THE OTHER ONE. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceld, because ( All the snow makes the roads unsafe. ) We can't go skiing because it's snowing. real FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (2907)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today , at mah 6-year-old son's brthday party , I had to explain to mah boyfriend that it's not okay to use condom as party balloons . FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5906)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Taday I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. mega FML

#20478247
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (3862)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, mah daughter trid to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was cuz a hot coal somehow workd its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. real FML

#20478067
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

TODAY, I WAS DRIVING MAH 9 MONTH PREGNANT SISTER AROUND IN OUR GOLF CART AND IT DID!! I HAD TO PUSH IT THE REST OF THE WAY HOME!! SHE WOULDN'T STOP FAKING GOING INTO LABOR!! FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (3968)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbd mah inhaler an took a puff !! This was probably very disturbing for the earwighich had somehow made mah puffer its home, as I discoveredhen it shot into mah mouth !! FML

#20477568
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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