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Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (3392)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9935) - you deserved it (20842)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (2903)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (3154)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

#20179494
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (2737)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

#20180075
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm - misc - by ronboy - United States (Ohio)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (1952)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (26773)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2187)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)



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