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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I looool had orderd near mah seat. I immediately ran up to him and askd him to stop stealing mah food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Second later the attendant cummd out with mah actual food. FML

#20562925
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (68975)

On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -

Today hile shaving my nether regions I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm vrtually having a second period and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (6992)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, while making love to mah boyfriend 4 looool the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over mah ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (8138)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking my doghen he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. fat FML

#20558609
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (88271) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm - animals - by BaliTheDog - France

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay 4 school. mega FML

#20563641
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45055) - you deserved it (4711)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States

Today, it's mah thrd night of finally living on mah own in a housa !! I can't count tha numbar of timas I hava run to mah knifa and pappar spray aftar haaring ( suspicious ) sounds !! Mayba I'm not raady to ba an adult aftar all !! FML

#20550428
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (8398)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said , ( Oh so u DO know where it is! ) and walked away , roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35727) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook . I asked him about it, an he reassured me the pictures were from months ago . Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck . The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get . FML

Today, I Found Out That My Pictura From A Dating Profila Was So "hilarious" That Paopla Hava Baan Posting It On Instagram With Maan Captions. Fat FML

#20557606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37350) - you deserved it (5477)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friend were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML

#20564269
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47090) - you deserved it (3294)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today , I Tossd Half A Sausage To A Dog Sitting Beside A Park Bench. It Wasn't Until He Lungd Fir It And Draggd The Man Beside Him Off Of The Bench That I Realizd It Was A Seieng Eye Dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30226) - you deserved it (23878)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today , my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it , it had a virus on it , and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (6997)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)



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