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Sunday 10 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (4200)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (3119)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (2970)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (2466)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (2266)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

#20536740
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33069) - you deserved it (2273)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:04am - money - by whaaaaat111 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13464) - you deserved it (35890)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (2619)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (6972)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (8059)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31525) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (1968)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)



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