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Friday 8 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36172) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (3858)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30549) - you deserved it (4433)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12981) - you deserved it (32059)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15263) - you deserved it (29650)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16895) - you deserved it (54656)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38965) - you deserved it (9414)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (5769)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (3653)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48354) - you deserved it (3388)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34542) - you deserved it (4460)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom



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