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Sunday 3 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42156) - you deserved it (5999)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

#20521895
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (8901)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31145) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31849) - you deserved it (12517)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (2155)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (3617)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (3623)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (6664)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31647) - you deserved it (2239)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (2427)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

#20536687
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/09/2013 at 4:05am - work - by hairdresser (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)



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