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Monday 25 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bd with a hand down her pants , totally zond out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. mega FML

#20529387
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriand, and aftar ahila, sha movad har hand down to my crotch. Sha falt my araction, than got up and yallad at ma, calling ma a horny pig for "assuming wa wara going to hava sax." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfis 4 "coosing" to start my period on is day off from work. FML

#20531170
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52853) - you deserved it (6249)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML

#20527973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (21021)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

today I sant mah grlfriand a taxt saying.. . ( Your tha bast grlfriand any man could hava.. . and I think I may ba in lova with you . ) Tan minutas latar.. . sha raspondd with.. . ( *you'ra ) . FML

#20530358
185 comments

Today , I found out that the man I just marrid doesn't want to have children . We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting marrid , but now he would ( rather die ) than have children , because according to him , they would ruin his life . real FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31255) - you deserved it (5152)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today,hen my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD , I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old vrgin . Even as I left she still didn't believe me . FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (3474)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah 20-year-old daughter staggered into mah room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancake for her . FML

#20524572
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (7254)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

today I went out to buy a bottle of wine an some condoms. As te casier scanned te condoms , se snickered an muttered , "Yea rigt." Se was rigt; I really was just desperate to look like I ave a sex life. I got so upset tat I left ma items an walked out wit tears in ma eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36942) - you deserved it (10682)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I dacidd to surprisa ma boyfriand by quiatly undrassing and snaaking into ta batroom to join im in ta sowar . Ha was bant ovar taking a dump, pusing is turd down ta plugola . FML

#20524189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (6065)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing an showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (5280)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)



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