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Monday 25 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML

#20525032
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20167) - you deserved it (6451)

On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (4680)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11148) - you deserved it (19009)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

#20524057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9549) - you deserved it (14283)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by girlymae (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (6069)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML

#20524387
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (2964)

On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24134) - you deserved it (2577)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28662) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

#20528651
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (2175)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by dumbass for a flatmate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

#20521678
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (1337)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML

#20531281
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (1486)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by ihatemakingnames (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (2517)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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Monday 17 June 2013

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